Kathleen Anne Neff

Kathleen Anne Gokey Neff, 81, loved life fiercely.

As the sun rose to start the day on April 29, 2024, Kathleen Anne Gokey Neff, loving wife and mother of three, passed away in Jerome, Idaho, at 81 years old.

On February 24, 1943, Muskegon, Michigan, welcomed its newest resident, a little “Dutch” girl, named Kathleen. “Kathy” was the first-born child of Kathleen "Kay” and Bernard Gokey. The new family’s home life was undoubtedly idyllic, but it was unfortunately also short.

Being a red-blooded American, Kathy’s father enlisted in the Army on May 25, 1943. On September 12, 1944, Bernard would lose his life in the Battle for Brest. His passing left Kay a single mother raising two young girls, Kathy, and her new baby sister, Bernadine. Kay would eventually remarry and before long, Kathy was the oldest of seven. A dutiful daughter, Kathy stayed busy helping her mother tame the circus, a job that seemed to come to her naturally. A military family, they were moved often, spending time in several different states, eventually landing in Canoga Park, California in 1957. Kathy officially became a "Valley Girl" and graduated from Canoga Park High School in 1961. 

After high school, Kathy attended the University of Oregon with aid from the Eagles Organization. She was a proud “Duck.” It would not be long until this Hen found her Drake, the love of her life, Lawrence “Ben” Neff. A whirlwind courtship ensued, and then one beautiful day sitting in the Student Union, Ben would propose marriage. Ben loves to tell the story of how the very booth in which he proposed later became the central focus of a memorable scene involving John Belushi and a mouthful of mashed potatoes in the 1978 film, “Animal House.” The start of what became a beautiful marriage of 60 years occurred on March 21, 1964, at St. Joseph the Worker Catholic Church in Canoga Park, California.            

Soon after taking their vows, the newlyweds began a life of love and work. Kathy changed her path, enrolling in secretarial school, and was quickly hired by the U of O to assist the Dean of the Graduate School. Soon after, Kathy’s mother lost her battle with Leukemia and these “newlyweds” jumped in feet first, instantly becoming parents, raising several of Kathy’s younger siblings alongside Bernadine. It wouldn’t be long, however, before Ben's profession in irrigation took the couple to Miami, Florida. This change in environment allowed for many new adventures, like rounds of midnight golf, dancing in the rain, and trips to Panama and Puerto Rico. As fun as it was, the West and their families were calling to them. Ben and Kathy relocated to Fresno, California, and started a family of their own. Their first blessing, a dedicated and free-spirited daughter named Darbi was born in March of 1970. Soon, a detail and family-oriented son named Benjamin would follow in November of 1971. Ben would then take a new position that would move them one final time to Jerome, Idaho in 1972. 

Kathy was busy taking care of two children, but somehow still found time to work a part-time job at the Tupperware factory. Then in July of 1976, the stork brought the Neffs the ever-talented and humorous Katherine Marie. Always the caretaker and “mother hen,” Kathy would eventually leave Tupperware to start a daycare in her home for the families of her close friends, a job she continued for many years. She would also find time to work for the school district as a teacher's assistant. Kathy was deeply appreciated and praised for the love, patience, and attention she showed to all learners and fellow teachers.

Her children jokingly gave Kathy the moniker “honey badger,” because she lived life with such determined and focused ferocity. She was constantly busy. While her children were growing up, she was their biggest fan and could be counted on to be there cheering at all the swim, track, cross country, and speech meets. She also worked tirelessly to restore the 100-year-old house on Main Street, creating an inviting home that hosted many Christmas, slumber, and birthday parties.

Dedicated Catholic parishioners and adventurers, Kathy and Ben traveled with the church to amazing places. A particular trip that brought happy memories was known as, “From Jerome to Rome.” The friendships forged through St. Jerome’s were valued beyond measure.

Some people’s drive to make the best of everything can cause their personalities to be cold and serious. Not Kathy. She had an infectious sense of humor, from subtle and cheeky, to downright goofy. She never turned the channel if “Money Pit”, “Airplane” or “The Pink Panther” were on. Kathy loved any chance to play, including favorites like golf and bowling, and she was a natural at corn hole. She relished time for campouts and trips to Utah to play at Lagoon with the youth group from church.

Nothing made Kathy as happy as getting her extended family together, both her siblings and the Neffs, for reunions on the Oregon Coast. She cherished the times she spent traveling the country to see her children, grandchildren, and siblings. She was always taking pictures, eventually filling enough photo albums to rival the great libraries of the world. As her memory started to fail her, she took solace in paging through these albums, helping remind her of the times and faces she loved so dear.

Alzheimer’s disease may have robbed Kathy of her memories, but it could not impact the positive effect she had on the world and all of our lives. Kathy had so much love and joy to give to all walks of life, and she gave it fiercely.

Kathy is survived by her loving and dedicated husband of 60 years, Ben; her oldest daughter, Darbi Neff (Luke Madsen); son, Benjamin Neff (Stacie Marshall); grandchildren, Zachary and Amelia; youngest daughter, Katie Neff (Steve Kaminski); her fur grand-babies, Newt, Meep, and Fergie; and her siblings, Bernadine Reidel, Tom (Dotty) Green, Jack Fitzpatrick, Carolyn (Bill) Beardsley, Michah Green, and Dan (Cyndy) Green; and many wonderful nieces and nephews.

An immense “Thank You” to all those who loved and cared for her at Creekside Care Center in Jerome and the attentive dedicated staff from Hospice Visions. You truly are Heroes!!

Funeral Mass will be celebrated at 11:00 am, Monday, June 24, 2024, at St. Jerome’s Catholic Church, 216 2nd Ave East, Jerome, led by Fr. Jose Gonzalez and Fr. Ron Wekerle. Please join us to celebrate this wonderful woman.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests donations in her honor to two organizations near and dear to Kathy and her family: The Alzheimer’s Association and the Catholic Council of Women at St. Jerome’s.

Memories and condolences may be shared with the family on Kathy’s memorial webpage at www.farnsworthmortuary.com.